evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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