I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
