is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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