id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize