Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
