capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
