Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
