Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
