Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
