There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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