tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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