K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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