respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
