Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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