make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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