I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
