The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
