I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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