We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
