So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
