at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
