She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
