singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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