He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
