Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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