She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
