my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
