I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
