I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
