Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
