Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
