I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize