Three words: puerto rican gang bang
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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