I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
