If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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