i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
