I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
