So drunk its hurt
I wish you could order shots online.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
