I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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