Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
