glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
