It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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