did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
