yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
