Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
