she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
