Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
