the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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