He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize