Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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