Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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