he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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