My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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