I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
