You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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