the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Help. Why am I so naked?
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