i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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