so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
