Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
