This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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