Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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