i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
